Day 57- Growing Out of Competitive Video Games

I experience myself as quite sensitive to my external environment. I pick up on the energy of whoever is around me, and sometimes the person can be miles away and I still 'pick up' on their energy. For example, when I play a game on my phone, I 'pick up' on the energy of the other person playing, and it is no longer about me the game, but about who the other person is within their playing.

Obviously, bringing this back to self, it is an indication I am not grounded in my physical body. I should not be able to be influenced by another person in such a way as to become emotionally upset or feel like I am not in control of the situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become upset when playing a mobile game and I perceive myself as 'unable to just play', but am instead apparently forced to reckon with who this person is within their life, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that such a reaction indicates that I was not grounded before playing the game.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not ground myself within my physical body before engaging with another on mobile.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become upset when I perceive myself as no longer able to just play my precious game

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to not realize that becoming upset while playing the game indicates that I was already lost within the mind before I even started playing the game, creating an unstable situation, where the equality equation might require that I a) stop playing the game or b) deprioritize 'just playing the game' for a moment to deal with this person within who they are in their environment on a beingness level, but I am within that moment only considering/thinking/emoting in relation to myself and thus become upset when my little bubble of self is broken and *gasp* someone else's life might interrelate with mine.

I have noticed that I only become upset in this way when playing competitive multiplayer games. When I am playing a single-player puzzle game, for example, I do not experience the same "I am being intruded upon" emotional reaction. Something about the competitive nature of the multiplayer games I've played just doesn't jive with walking my process, even in those instances where I've grounded myself before playing. Because it's always about the beings playing and where they are within who they are that is the most important thing to consider in trying to build a world that is best for all. And so I'm drawn to put aside utilizing whichever method or psychological trick I have at my disposal to win the game at any cost, and then the game is no longer really relaxing or fun for me.

Investigate Desteni and especially the DIP Lite FREE online course w/Buddy where you learn to walk the mind in detail in the first step in taking responsibility for who and what you are in this world. From there, we can expand to implementing an Equal Money System that considers the inherent value in all life.

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