Day 70- Stopping Smoking (Part 1)

During this pandemic, I made the switch from smoking cigarettes occasionally to smoking them habitually, and it was a conscious decision to make that transition. Having done a lot of work on myself using the DIP Process prior to the start of the pandemic, I found myself rather bored during the mandatory lockdowns I experienced. I realized that this event was an opportunity for Heaven to assist Earth with preparing for a new future and that I was not positioned to make much of an impact on this process. Thus, I was faced with days on end of loneliness and boredom while things were shifted behind the scenes for the world to come. I had reached a point where any more work on myself would bring me needlessly into conflict with those around me/supporting me, and given the circumstances, it was not a great time for building out my social network. Thus, I made the decision to take up smoking as a way to pass the time. I justified this decision with the belief that I would be strong enough within myself when the time came to give up smoking and continue on with my process of creating myself as Life. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take up smoking because I believed I was going to be bored during the reshuffling of the universe during the pandemic.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe life is boring if I don’t smoke cigarettes. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I don't have the proper support network to be able to quit smoking.

When and as I see myself go into regret because I believed I would be bored and so took up smoking, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that that decision is in the past- there is nothing I can do about it at this time. 

When and as I see myself believe that life is boring if I don't smoke cigarettes, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that there are many interesting things to do in life besides smoking cigarettes. I see, realize, and understand that my life can be interesting without smoking cigarettes.

When and as I see myself believing I don't have the proper support network to be able to quit smoking, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that I can build a support network for making healthy decisions, but that it takes work, that I must apply myself to create such a network, that it will not build itself overnight.

Day 69- Do You Have ANXIETY?

Did that title make you anxious?

Today I had a silly experience with anxiety. I was trimming my nails and something I do quite often is trim them too short. Well, I was about to clip a toenail and a thought came up, "You should be careful not to trim that too short." Another: "You should use the smaller fingernail clipper so you don't cut it too short." I stopped the thoughts, and continued to trim the nail, making sure I didn't cut it too short. But, afterwards, I had lingering anxiety about the situation- "what if I had cut the toenail too short?". There was no pain, but even if I had cut it too short, there was nothing I could do about it at this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be anxious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry that I am anxious

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being anxious.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to desire to be not anxious

I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to not realize that I am anxious about something that ‘could have happened’- instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that the thing didn’t happen, and even if it did, there is nothing I can do about it at this time

When and as I see myself become anxious, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that being anxious is an emotional reaction about something that either didn’t happen, happened but I cannot do anything about it, or happened and I am suppressing the solution of the problem within me and therefore must take ACTION to fix. I am not anxiety. I can act to create solutions.

When and as I see myself reacting within anger at my being anxious, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that reacting to my anxiousness is an indication I am in my mind.

When and as I see myself fear my anxiousness, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that anxiousness is not real; it is of and in my mind, and I can stop it within a breath. 

When and as I see myself desire to not be anxious, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that stopping anxiousness requires breathing, stopping, and redirecting myself within a moment. 

I commit myself to stop anxiety through breathing.

I commit myself to realize that anxiety is not a solution, but to investigate whether the problem actually exists (lol), and if it does, if there is anything I can practically do about it. Otherwise, I commit myself to STOP anxiety in a single moment of breath.

I commit myself to not become angry when I am experiencing anxiousness, but to stop, breathe, and ground myself in my physical reality, to stop the mind and remain here in awareness.

I commit myself to not fear anxiety.

I commit myself to not desire to not be anxious

I commit myself to investigate and stop all forms of anxiety in this world.

Thanks for reading

DIP Lite- Free self-help course w/Buddy (ONLINE)
EQAFE- Your existential library w/Every Question answered for EVERYONE