Day 53- Lack of a Support Network

I was doing some reading on male depression, and it mentioned how it was important for men to have a support network to deal with their depression. Some people to bounce your thoughts off of, to talk about what you are going through, and to perhaps gain additional perspectives or insights one had not previously considered. Taking a look at my life, I realize and understand that I don't have a support network, like, at all. Why would this be so?

What it comes down to is: I have not created a support network in my life. Despite having 'Met' countless people, my intention or direction within meeting these people has always been obfuscated by self-interest (read: limitation) in one form or another.

If it was the people I 'Met' because I wanted a job offer from them, I was only considering my survival. Perhaps I used manipulation to charm them into thinking I was a good candidate for the job. Since I was not Directive within Self-Honesty in my approach to our interaction = the relationship didn't end up being supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach potential employers/managers from the perspective of manipulating them to create an image within their minds of me as employable, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding the importance of Expressing myself Here, in the moment, in Each and Every interaction in Self-Trust and Self-Honesty, regardless of my desire, driven by fear, of acquiring money from a job, wherein I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that the outcome of a manipulated relationship is going to be tainted in such a way as to create Consequences which will prevent such a relationship from being Supportive of Me.

Day 38- Ignoring Self-Honesty to Compromise My Body

This blog post is inspired by https://vixensjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2020/05/06/living-with-being-body-and-mind-417/ .

A point in my reality that keeps reoccurring is where I ignore a moment of self-honesty within myself regards my wrist. I injured it recently and while the pain isn't horrible, it's clear to me that I must be careful with using it. However, there have been two moments where I ignored an opportunity to practice self-care and went ahead and used my wrist anyway.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to compromise my physical body through using my wrist.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into extensive reaction after compromising my wrist/body, wherein I worried and became frustrated and angry with myself for compromising my body.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not realize that becoming agitated and upset about my poor choice was only making the situation worse.

When and as I see myself ignore a point of self-honesty within a moment as an opportunity to change, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that such moments are truly blessings of a limited nature.

I commit myself to STOP within a moment and change a pattern in real time.