Day 65- Blaming Desteni Process for my 'Life'

I’ve had within my the belief ‘Everything in my life has gone to shit since Desteni Process started’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame Desteni Process for my life apparently going to shit

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not realize that blaming Desteni Process for my life going to shit implies I do not take responsibility for my life going to shit

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for my life going to shit

When and as I see myself not take responsibility for my life going to shit, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that no one else can take responsibility for my life having gone to shit. 

I commit myself to create stability in and as me as who I am as Life

Suggest to check out DIP Lite- a FREE online course w/buddy
Desteni
Destonians.com- Destonian Social Network
7 Year Journey to Life- The 7 Year journey to life
Equal Money System- Investigate the proposal for a new economic system to be implemented worldwide in years to come
Living Income Guaranteed- The first step in that economic system
EQAFE- YOUR existential library w/Every question answered for Everyone

Day 64- In a Relationship with a Narcissist? Don't Be Like I Was

You know how they say you should go no contact if you realize you have a narcissist in your life? Well, I am a shining example of a reason why. Instead of reaching out to friends or other family members when I was in need, I went crawling back to the narcissist. It was a ‘comfortable’ relationship, which basically meant it was one of those relationships that society ‘tells’ you is sacrosanct. For me, that meant I didn’t have to deal with my issues as long as I could keep going back to this relationship. What I didn’t realize was that merely participating in this relationship WAS one of my issues. 



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in a relationship with a narcissist

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that participating in a relationship with a narcissist implies I lack self-respect

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lack self-respect

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that lacking self-respect implies I have never created self-respect within and as who I am as a living word

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-respect

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe someone else should give me self-respect

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that believing someone else should give me self-respect implies that I am not the director of myself

When and as I see myself wanting to participate in a relationship with this narcissist, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that there will be no closure when participating in a relationship with a narcissist and therefore there is no way this relationship can be best for all or best for me in any way.

When and as I see myself not direct myself, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that lacking self-direction implies I am waiting for someone or something to direct me, such as a substance to which I am addicted or an authority figure or fear or needing money and so I deny myself the gift of creating myself whenever I give my authority over to someone or something outside of me to direct me, but that there can be no closure within that relationship because I am not a narcissist and therefore I must take responsibility for who I am in every moment.

I commit myself to take responsibility for who I am in every moment

Suggest to check out DIP Lite- a FREE online course w/buddy
Desteni
Destonians.com- Destonian Social Network
7 Year Journey to Life- The 7 Year journey to life
Equal Money System- Investigate the proposal for a new economic system to be implemented worldwide in years to come
Living Income Guaranteed- The first step in that economic system
EQAFE- YOUR existential library w/Every question answered for Everyone

Day 61- Coming to Terms with Narcissistic Abuse

Coming to terms with the fact that my life is ruined because of my choice to interact with a narcissist and buy into her insinuations that she is there to help me. It is easy to blame this person for wasting my life, but I participated with/as her in the ways I did.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear moments of change during times of conflict because I fear the unknown and because I am not secure in who I am within the world system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the unknown.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that fearing the unknown implies I cling to the known

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to use fearing the unknown to justify avoiding change in moments of conflict, instead of seizing moments of conflict as opportunities to change.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not be secure in who I am within the world system.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that not being secure in who I am within the world system implies that I haven’t created my change into placing myself as who I am within and as the world system, taking into consideration the principle of being in the world, but not of the world.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not be secure in who I am within the world system- instead of creating financial stability for myself step by step

Suggest to check out DIP Lite- a FREE online course w/buddy
Desteni
Destonians.com- Destonian Social Network
7 Year Journey to Life- The 7 Year journey to life
Equal Money System- Investigate the proposal for a new economic system to be implemented worldwide in years to come
Living Income Guaranteed- The first step in that economic system
EQAFE- YOUR existential library w/Every question answered for Everyone

Day 51- What Does the Feeling of Winning on Your Mobile Phone Say About Privilege?

I am feeling very unsettled. There was a moment of self-sabotage whilst playing a game on my phone competing with another being. This is a reoccurring experience of mine: when playing competitive games, it’s like there is this external intrusion that prevents me from expressing myself unconditionally within the playing. I experience a need to not try my best to win. When playing the game, I initially want to win very badly, but then it became apparent that it was not best for all for me to try to do so. However, then I experienced confusion because, what am I supposed to do when playing a competitive game if not try my best to win? What comes up in relation to this is a split between wanting to be “of this world” of the competition systems and being in this world but not “of this world”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use competitive video games as a backdoor to living as what’s best for all in every moment, where I justify using my privileged knowledge and information from Desteni against the person with whom I’m competing within the ‘excuse’ that ‘it is a competitive game, I’m supposed to try to win’, instead of doing what’s best for all within every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to justify trying my hardest even when it’s not what is best for all because of getting caught up in the energy rush of playing a game, instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that such games are designed to create such energy rushes as energetic experiences, and if I cannot be sure that I stand steady and stable within myself before and during playing such games, maybe I should not start playing them in the first place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to then go into the energetic experience of sadness in relation to ‘no longer being allowed’ to play such games, where I fear ‘missing out’ on the experience of playing competitive games, and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also fear missing out on competing within the world system through applying myself to live with and as what’s best for all within every moment, wherein I generate thoughts and feelings and desires related to winning and beating other participants that I can generate within myself when I compete, not realizing, seeing, nor understanding that the world-system is rigged in my favor in most of these situations, otherwise, how else could I so easily win?

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize how such energies of glee, excitement, entertainment, and frivolity are dependent upon my unequal position in the world-system, where I have been given opportunities to develop skills which allow me to ‘beat’ another, without even having a say in being given these opportunities, but to simply have until this moment lived out my privilege on an unconscious level, accepting my position in the world system, without realizing the absolute horror beings who have not been gifted such opportunities must live in on a daily basis, here I am talking about those in destitution and subject to violence and abuse in ways I have not imagined, whose positions I also accepted without questioning the WHY and the HOW of their positioning, but simply indulged in the pleasures of my relative privilege seemingly unaffected by their real pain and horrible life experiences.

I mean, how is it that, in a single universe, millions can be suffering, while on the other side of the world, others are enjoying the finer niceties of life? Sure, the privileged occasionally give into guilt with regards their superior position in Life, but why do so few question HOW or WHY such beings can live in a sort of bubble of privilege without being affected in any way whatsoever by those suffering on the same planet? 

The principle of self-responsibility is confirmed within the lack of the intrusion of any law of karma or morality or connectedness which you would think would prevent a painless life of joy and happiness alongside beings suffering unspeakably. Which is just the problem of this world isn’t it? There is absolutely nothing TO stop you from living a life indulging in this or that luxury or feeling or experience or vacation or purchased item. The idea of a heaven or a hell is a lie, because otherwise how could millions of beings throughout all time have lived such lives without some law balancing out the situation on Earth to ease the suffering of millions others?



Investigate the Equal Money System and a Living Income Guaranteed to stop suffering on earth

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Check out EQAFE- your existential library w/EVERY question answered for Everyone

Day 26- When you’re single-handedly stopping the forward progress of the physical process in your mind

Have you ever believed within your mind, within yourself, that you were somehow responsible for holding the world back? Yes, getting to learn about the mind and yourself can be overwhelming; it brings up all sorts of negative stuff inside of you that you may feel ashamed or guilty about. That’s normal.

However, at least for myself, I noticed a tendency to then go into this experience that I had so much power within my mind that I was able to, simply through thinking, project out into the universe something which was capable of stopping all forward progress towards/as what’s best for all. That somehow my fallibility is so monumental it could hurt the whole world. But let’s look at that idea: is it even true?

Within the moment it may seem like that idea is actually playing out in reality. Your mind may create 3-dimensional imagery that suggests you are doing that to world. The important thing is to stop, remember to use breathing, forgive yourself for the thought, and then continue on. You will soon realize that the idea occupying you and your mind was just that: an ephemeral thought that wasn’t actually interfering with the fate of the entire world.

That’s why it’s important to practice self-forgiveness. The more you are familiar with self-forgiveness, even in writing, the easier it will be to stop oneself in such moments. That’s why I suggest check out lite.desteniiprocess.com where you will get an online buddy who’s gone through the process themselves to walk with you as you learn about the different thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories that can occupy our minds and how to apply structured writing of self-forgiveness to recognize and thus take responsibility for these things. Sign-up for DIP Lite today or visit The forum if you have any questions!

Links for investigation:
EQAFE
Desteni
Desteni 'I' Process
DIP Lite (FREE)
Desteni forum
Living Income Guaranteed
Marlen Vargas Del Razo 

Day 25- Confidence: Is it Real?

It’s interesting, because self-confidence has for a long time been one of those traits that I attributed to myself. But as the quantum physical process wears on and I am tested on my decisiveness, I realize that the confidence I defined myself with/as was actually an aspect of a personality system. As such, whatever degree of confidence I have possessed hasn’t actually translated into tangible action to create heaven on earth.



I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am confident.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that believing I was confident implied that I am not confident.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be confident because of fearing what others may do to me if I express myself confidently and because of fearing what I may have to go through if I stand by my confidence while acting to create a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what others may do/think/say towards/about me if I act confidently and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach the emotional experience of defeat to the memory of confidently stating what I wanted to do with my life in my childhood and being laughed at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the emotional energy of anger to the memory of being laughed at for confidently stating what I wanted to do with my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of blame towards those who explained to me that it was unrealistic for me to have that dream.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remember that it was explained to me that it was my lack of discipline and dedication that made it unrealistic to achieve that goal and to use that explanation to become more disciplined and dedicated.

When and as I see myself believe I am confident, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this confidence is an energy: it is not real.

I commit myself to explore and live the word confidence for real.



Links for investigation:
EQAFE
Desteni
Desteni 'I' Process
DIP Lite (FREE)
Desteni forum
Living Income Guaranteed