Sunday, June 28, 2020

Day 52- Physical Trumps Energy

I realized that I was sort of aligning myself with the entire existence and always forcing myself to be at the cutting edge of whatever was happening. Within this, was a sort of competition, where what I really wanted was to feel important, like I was needed, and in so doing exposing a point of lack; I felt like I needed to compensate for other areas in my life which need work: getting a stable job, getting a Life Partner, building effective relationships. I thought and believed that if I could make myself stand out through going interdimensional, that would compensate for the areas in my physical life where I lacked. Of course, this goes back to childhood trauma and not recognizing my value as a physical being, so there are a whole lot of issues there to open up. But my solution to my problems was not sustainable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting a job and sticking to it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fearing getting and sticking to a job implies that I have defined getting and sticking to a job as negative.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define getting and sticking to a job as negative

When and as I see myself go into a negative emotional reaction towards getting and sticking to a job, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that getting and sticking to a job is essential to support my life on Earth. 

I commit myself to get and stick to a job

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