Day 40- Redefining and Living Stability

The process used in this redefinition process can be seen here: https://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=3241#p18505. Suggest to check it out for assistance in redefining and living your own words.

Gathering information stage:

Self-allocation point:

I have been, indirectly and directly, called unstable by multiple people, including myself. Thus, my allocation in relation to this word stable is that: it is not me. Going back, as class clown, the funny guy, I can see that I have always stood out, sought attention, and have never really been OK with myself as who I am within.

Early in my childhood/adolescence, I didn’t recognize the expression of stability within myself, having received chastisement/punishment for expressing myself and so never really coming to honor a core/stability within myself as a natural right to be honored for just simply being. Thus, since I didn’t recognize myself as a stable, continuous being, I didn’t honor that and was always trying to disrupt stability around me. I would act out, crack jokes, and behave in other ways which would disrupt the classroom because I wasn’t taught to value stability.

Because I wasn’t given attention at home as who I really was, I devised other ways to gain that attention. Namely by disrupting a stable atmosphere that others sought/valued. I externalized/imposed the absence of stability within myself on others. I grew to enjoy my class clown personality, as it got me the attention that I didn’t receive just for being a human being, and a child at that. It didn’t help that I was classified as a gifted child and was separated from my peers both in age and location when I skipped a grade and attended a private school.

I carried this outsider personality with me through adolescence and college, where an encounter with psychedelics only accelerated my otherness as it allowed me to gain insights and abilities that further separated me from others. Soon enough, I was having visions of being a god-sent prophet/guru charged with raising the consciousness of earth and I dropped out of college. Eventually, I found myself homeless. Alone and addicted to drugs, I was certainly the living embodiment of a lack of stability.

Unfortunately, I have ended up back with the very person who robbed me of a sense of stability in the first place. In my quest to gain stability, I have basically forgotten my entire history of living the opposite of stability and have singularly focused on this person as being THE ONLY obstacle to me gaining stability. 

Definition:

the quality, state, or degree of being stable: such as
    a: the strength to stand or endure: FIRMNESS
    b: the property of a body that causes it when disturbed to form a condition of equilibrium or steady motion to develop forces or moments that restore the original condition
    c: resistance to chemical change or to physical disintegration
2. residence for life in one monastery

Sounding of the word:

Sounds identified:
Sta
Bility



Associations identified with the sounds:
sta- stay, stable
Bility- Ability

Stay- To remain
Ability- Capacity, Skill, Capability

Creative writing:

Stability is the ability for the self-core to remain constant despite what is going on externally
Stability is the the skill of firmness that is able to be developed over time
Stability is the capacity to remain firm
Stability is the capability to remain firm when others are blown over by the wind
Stability is the ability to remain who I am even as the environment impulses me to change
Stability is the ability to remain stable regardless of what is going on

Final definition:

Stability is the the ability to remain stable regardless of what is going on


Does my definition represent what this word stands for?
Yes

Is my definition free of polarities?
Yes

Can I stand by this definition into infinity?
Yes