For further context for this post, see the discussion on the forum: http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=36&t=8052.
Yes, I can see that the self-decision to move into/as sex is 'clouded' within other uncertainties within my life related to money. Also, not sure if there are real consequences from not having had sex for a long time that are contributing to this sense of urgency to have sex or if I've just built it up in my mind that way. I did hear in a video a while back that that the body requires sex and I can see that it could be an opportunity to ground myself here. But I feel like, compared with others who have had sex regularly/semi-regularly during this long drought for me, I am not stable and ready to move into sex with ease.
I forgive myself for comparing myself with S for whom moving into sex is apparently easy.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define moving into sex easily as more than having resistance to sex.
When and as I see myself comparing myself with S for whom moving into sex is apparently easy, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that we are in different places in our life such that I am dealing with the consequences of long periods of sexual abstinence and social isolation that have resulted in a built up resistance to sex. These issues are my own and I am capable of dealing with them myself. I commit myself to explore redefining sex on my own terms so that when I decide to have sex it is within the principle of what is best for all.