Day 21- Suppression Proves Personal Power

I have been experiencing suppression lately. Then I had a look at the definition of suppression and came across this interesting tidbit: the restraint or repression of an idea, activity, or reaction by something more powerful.

While I was aware of the definition of suppression as restraint/repression, that such restraint is carried out by “something more powerful” is what struck me as interesting.

While I have defined suppression as negative within myself, it actually reveals this powerful part of myself, so powerful that it is able to restrain ideas and activities as they arise within me, even when those ideas or activities resonate with me. 


Another way to think about it is: if the thing you were suppressing were negative (say you had a sudden urge to say something hurtful to another), then exercising restraint over that urge would be considered disciplined or tactful = a positive. What then does suppressing positive aspects of myself teach me? That I am a powerful being not on a spiritual journey where some God or Spirit bestows upon me a series of ecstatic experiences. If that were so, why would there exist a capacity/part of me that was capable of overriding these ecstatic experiences?



What this actually reveals to me is that I am far more and far more powerful than the limiting self-definition of weak or a failure would tell me. I am so powerful I can in fact stop my own miraculous self-expansion in a single moment of self-doubt and hesitation.

Day 20- Hesitation: The Golden Moment?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hesitate to speak up in gratefulness within the moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to overthink in that moment, analyzing points of the moment within my mind for clues as to whether it would be appropriate to speak up in that moment, or if it would benefit me, or person x, to speak up in that moment, or if it would be best for all where what I am really missing within all of this is self-trust within the moment where I cannot rely on being able to write about the point but must actually apply myself to bring forth: something new. By hesitating on the point, “bailing on it”, so-to-speak, all I am doing is allowing myself to be swept up in the mind in that moment, allowing myself as limitation as the mind to extract resources from my human physical body just to satisfy the act of thinking and suppressing myself to, ironically, protect myself in that moment. If I am in fact degrading the body through thinking and not actually protecting the physical body, then what am I protecting: well, perhaps an image of myself in my mind but the BIGGER picture here, so to speak, is that I am, through the mind, acting to protect the mind itself. 

Here is another familiar consequence of hesitating within the moment: shame.  Self-judgement. All the negative things associated with not acting/speaking within a moment that conveniently are missing in my thinking process when I am sitting there, frozen, unable to speak despite the potentially useful nature of my words, moving within my mind towards positive energies like safety, isolation, abundance. In the end, it’s not clear that I’ve gained these things due to my self-limiting (non)action, but rather that I have instead mined the body for resources and still must face the negative emotional aspect of the mind construct. 



Visit Desteni.org

Day 19- Habits Prove the Unconscious Mind

If we observe within our lives certain specific tendencies, habits, or patterns which take up our time in repeating loops, rather than participating within infinite cycles of guilt and shame around such behaviors, maybe there is something we can learn from them. The first step is to of course stop the thoughts, feelings and emotions related to the pattern we want to change. If you have been following me for a remarkable amount of time you will know already that the tool for stopping thoughts, feelings, and emotions is self-forgiveness.

However, it's important to realize that, in addition to these conscious and perhaps subconscious thoughts, emotions, and feelings related to a pattern we would like to change, there is an unconscious aspect to the pattern as well. A perfect demonstration of the way the unconscious mind functions within our lives is with habits within which we participate.

1. First, we have the conscious mind aspects such as the thoughts, emotions, and feelings that, with time and self-writing we can become more aware of. These include the thoughts, emotions, and feelings we experience within our day-to-day lives as we experience ourselves in the self and the mind.

2. Second, we have the subconscious aspects which are like the personality systems that are triggered by certain people or situations throughout our day. These are much larger systems than, say, a simple thought and can comprise a whole network of thoughts, feelings, and emotions within which a Self can fall and get lost.

3. Finally, we have the unconscious mind which largely functions below the conscious level but dictates our behavior down to the places we go and people we "choose" to spend time with. If you follow any sort of pattern whether it be a tendency to put your clothes away in a certain way or use a certain drug or see a certain person, and your actual doing so has sort of melted/faded into the background of your daily life such that you are only aware of the thoughts, emotions, and feelings related to the things you are doing within the pattern but not that you are participating in a behavioral pattern at all, that is proof of the unconscious mind.

Patterns prove the unconscious aspect of our Mind Consciousness System. That is how we can act in repeating ways while only being aware of the conscious aspects of the point. Through self-writing, we can uncover the details of the pattern and forgive ourselves to release ourselves from anything that is holding us back from being able to stop participating in the pattern. Visit Desteni 'Lite' for more information of self-writing and a free course to learn how you can use writing and self-forgiveness to explore and stop self-limiting aspects of our minds.