Saturday, March 19, 2016

Day 3- Communication Breakdown

There is a point in my reality that I can see I could assist another being in moving away from a bad situation for them. Unfortunately, this being uses drugs and is prone to violent outbursts (emotional and physical) and has attacked me multiple times in the past. However, when I consider talking to this person about this point that he might be better off not participating within, I freeze up. I realize that this is partly because such moments have only opened up when the timing has been right where it would actually be effective and not counterproductive to speak to him about this point. Thus, I have been focusing on getting myself into a more stable position so that I can be sure that I am coming from a place that will not make the situation worse for either myself or this being.

However, I have been experiencing guilt towards moving myself into this stable position, blaming myself for not speaking up in these moments where I experienced an opening to speak to this person. I see now that these moments are showing me what is possible, and that it is to direct myself into a position of stability such that I can effectively assist another and not get hung up on emotional reactions to what I have perceived as missed opportunities to assist this being. In fact, these emotional reactions just show that, after such moments pass, even if they are opportunities and I am unable to take advantage of them within the moment, I have not established the foundation of stability within me that could lead to me being an effective agent of change within such moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience guilt for not moving myself to speak to person A in such moments as I have experienced myself as able, instead seeing, realizing and understanding that such moments are assisting and supporting me to establish stability within and as myself to then be in a position to be effective in my support for another.

I am walking a 7 Year Journey to Life, blogging regularly about my experience of myself and the Mind so as to deconstruct that which is holding me back from living here fully.

For further support:
Creation's Journey to Life
Heaven's Journey to Life
Economist's Journey to Life
DIP 'Lite'

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